tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There r osticjed everywhere
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
