I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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