i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
