they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
