We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This house was built for laser tag.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
