i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
