Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
