what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
