How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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