Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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