Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just had sex on a roof
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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