I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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