So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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