the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
