So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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