I wish my penis had an off switch
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
