You smell like a Billy Joel song
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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