if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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