Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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