pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
