i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
