where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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