They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
