I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
