You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
