called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
