omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
