It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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