For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
