I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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