Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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