So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
