i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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