brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
