Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
