just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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