Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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