I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
