my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize