barbara walters just said penis...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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