I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize