I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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