we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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