32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
