If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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