Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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