escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
