It's like God shit irony all over that family
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
