i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
