why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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