well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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