my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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