porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
