Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
