We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
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