are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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