This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
