I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
