Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
