i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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