One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize