Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
too bad you live with your parents still
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
