is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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