Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
