I CAN MOONWALK!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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